the-niteflixes

2011-10-13T01:15:00.005+08:00

less than a month to A levels.

but how can i concentrate fully on my studies when there are still so many things on my mind and things bothering me

if only there is a way to purge myself of all these distractions

stressed much as somehow i will need to perform a miracle within these few weeks.

alright no use lamenting about all these new. need the precious time to mug and then have enough hours of precious sleep. totally need the energy to get through those drowsy afternoons :/

will do everything in my ability to get what i want.

my quest from U to A starts now

wish me luck.

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You' ll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine

And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

2011-03-20T00:17:00.002+08:00

in a day's time, it will be the 1st of countless tests and exams to come..

when jc2 just started, i kept on telling myself that this year i would have to prove to others and to myself that im definitely capable of more, and not just those shitty results i got last year.. which cost me many opportunities :/ and though i have tried my best to make use of whatever free time i have to study aka turning into a full-fledged mugger, the more disillusioned i become.. that im just studying for the sake of the straight A's and w/o any proper direction or goal. but i guess after looking at the seniors getting their results and all the talk about post jc education and careers, i finally have a goal in mind and i hope i can stay motivated and work towards it (:

to focus on my studies, i really need to have minimal distractions, but its only been 3 months into the year and i have been distracted by all sorts of things D: lol sometimes, i feel like im having some kind of mental & emotional debate inside me.. and then i end up crying w/o being able to do anything. this sucks. its like im seeking for it everyday but i dont think i'll ever be able to get it. and im kinda scared abt the future. haiz maybe i should go somewhere to get a peace of mind..

anw these things should be left to after blocks.. not exactly confident for it since i dont think a one week cramming of notes, diagrams, concepts etcetc would work. bleh

tho i have had good study sessions in libraries, condos, starbucks/coffeebean, cafes, school.. while i really had a tough time deciding where to go (since studying at home for me is useless) to study the whole day w/o spending too much money..

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I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

~ Born this way, Lady GaGa

2010-11-20T00:00:00.004+08:00

after complaining about being stuck at home for quite some time, i finally had a chance to have a proper outing. since the crazy night after artemis fac outing, where we really made our presence felt along the whole of orchard road before settling down to binge on 7 different flavours of ben & jerry's ice cream.

okay so today's initial reason for meeting twex was to buy books from borders to finish up the value in the gift card (haha like i needed any more after buying 8-9 at one go on my last trip here). had a bit of deciding whether he needed self improvement or SAT help or books that taught u that the safest place on the plane is right at the back. ugh had an urge to waste money and got myself some cool lego box thingy. another addition to my already cluttered desk..

and maybe cos hcjc ended earlier than some other jcs, i kept bumping into hc pple, including bio teachers (why come all the way here for lunch when they should be setting our start of j2 bio test?) and also nigel who abandoned his 3 girls to join us at starbucks. then it was twex's bubble tea experiment. tried gong milk tea for the very 1st time. not too awesome just that they spammed loads of pearls. $2.50 bleh.

surprise call from yongzhi brought me walking/running a long long way to rjc. shit la alighted at bishan when it should be marymount instead. rjc main gate freaking far, got there in time but all sweaty and smelly. but worth it cos it was really one ticket for 2 shows. one amazing play and another interesting drama.

yupp concludes my fulfilling day out. raffles city tmr for some itd work while chicken little is enjoying life in scotland.

--------------

I want a library full of our stories
A ship to keep our memories afloat
I wanna hit rewind
Playback a hundred times
The moment when our hearts aligned
...
I'll be down
You be my offbeat
Let's make rh-rh-rh-rhythm
And harmony
Waltz to our 3/4
'Cause you put the art in my heart

~ Offbeat, Clara Chung

2010-10-15T23:04:00.005+08:00

FOS was kind of like the perfect way to celebrate the end of promos. all those pent-up feelings in us all being able to be expressed in sports. but probably too much as times..

hmm thought FOS was a festival for us to enjoy the different sports and of cos have alot alot of fun. but some of us really do take the element of competition very seriously, often resulting in outbursts of vulgarities and whatnot lol.. faculty pride is impt but i guess having fun playing sports which we might be playing for the first time is much more impt. frisbee was kinda good, cos we were like the obvious underdogs but somehow we managed to reach the finals.. it was a great experience tho i dont understand why some people would actually tell on others just to get the team disqualified. since they are alrdy playing, let them enjoy the game right? lol even the teacher i/c was so uptight with these competition matters, spoiling the fun of the game and even needing to insult her colleagues? srsly thats damn toot. tho there are teams with sportsmanship that's admirable..

still tired from the full 4 matches, but the day was great, with a afternoon of pool and ending with a nice dinner.. sometimes its just these little things that make u satisfied, as i try hard to stay :D despite other issues..

haha as long as im putting in the effort, its alrdy okay with me. (:

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When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world

2010-09-07T23:48:00.002+08:00

its great when people share their thoughts or troubles with you. be in personal matters or others. makes me feel that im being trusted to hold on to that secret and not spread it whatsoever. im also glad that i know there are always people i can talk to when im troubled. we should always cherish these people among other important things, cos we'll never want to regret it when we lose what is dear to us.

tmr is the final worksession/rehearsal b4 MAF! im kinda exciting yet worried at the same time. yes finally the day we've been working so hard for is nearing. tmr is when everything will be finalised and all that's left is to look forward to Saturday and of cos pray very very very very hard that it wont rain. (tho weather forecasts predicted otherwise DD:) thats why im worried. hope all hoisting and building etc can go on smoothly (:

i finally feel more satisfied now. hope things will stay this way.

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no songs on my mind today..

2010-09-05T23:36:00.002+08:00

slept in this morning and had quite a few dreams, of which i could only rmb 1 or 2.. i love my dreams cos they usually do not make much sense and is more of jumbled up recollections or scenes. i dont exactly analyze my dreams but i guess someone out there could do the job for me (:

from the part i could rmb, i was sitting in a lecture theatre, those vaguely familiar ones i used to sit in during science fair presentations. and right in front of me was my sister presenting a science research project. and then the next part i could rmb was that i was in another country, i think canada.. i was in the hotel room, a very big hotel room. which had a queen sized bed and a plasma tv.. the room wasnt furnished in a very modern style but more of a homely feeling (kind of like one of the rooms i stayed in while in america during the AOS program). i left the room and entered a huge auditorium like place and the place was some dining area, filled with buffet lines like those in hotels. and then i saw 2 people i knew (one was yongzhi and the other jiaming). weird. i cant rmb the rest, except for one more scene at a supermarket which looked like the Giant supermart.

how i love my dreams. so exciting to be able to dream of all sorts of weird things, people and places.

k back to reality.

2010-08-29T00:15:00.002+08:00

after a tired week, i finally had my friday and a good one at that. random dancing after school and then a great dinner. took tho i took atrociously long to decide what to eat, it was super cool and fun to buy a variety of stuff without really spending alot. so gonna do that again some time soon.. and OC is a incredibly nice place to sit and talk and not forgetting a nice place for photos. had fun and i finally felt better and i relle hoped it did for u too.

and after the long 8h+ at school today, we finally managed to see the full citygate up. uber uber nice and proud of gaco gosh. was totally a great time to camwhore in front of our amazing work of art (: very tired but satisfying day, finally ending of with a chance to fulfill my ice cream craving (after sherwin shoved a spoonful of cookies and cream icecream in the midst of building)

but upon reaching home, my mood was again ruined. just like every other time i came home from outings, council etcetc. explains why i constantly yearn to return back to bs.

i just need that support and encouragement.

----------------

Down in a local bar
Out on the boulevard
The sound of an old guitar is savin' you from sinkin'
It's a long way down...it's a long way

~ Belle of the Boulevard, Dashboard Confessional

2010-08-23T22:52:00.002+08:00

today is one of the very rare days which i start and end school feeling rather happy.

was kind of like laughing non stop during lessons as we talked abt all sorts of weird things..

and also probably cos of the people around me.

if only if everyday could be like today (minus the constant pressure i get from my mum when i get home)

if only we can let loose and party lol..

-------

party like, likes its the end of the world
we gonna party like, like its 2012
you know that it doesn't matter
as long as we got each other
turn it up turn it up mash it up
it aint the end of the world

~ 2012, Jay Sean ft. Nicki Minaj

2010-08-21T23:38:00.003+08:00

tho im drowning with fatigue, but i shall fight on (:

i hate being bogged down my work

i hate having tests after tests

i hate it that promos is just 6 weeks away

i hate it often things dont go my way

i hate it that i have so little time

i hate waking up at 7am on saturday

i hate it that we have less time to meet up

i hate not being able to stay awake during lectures

i hate stress.

i love how we work hard together

i (still) love my fridays

i love the sense of satisfaction when i DO complete something

i love how others are encouraging me

i love my study area at home

i love poohbears

i love to see your smile

i love the bustrips home with the bbatok gang

i love laughing non stop until my tummy hurts

i love singing

i love my chicken-like furball softtoy (:

i love my dinners with friends

i love the short periods we get to meet-up

i miss the fun fridays i used to have

i miss having stayovers

i miss staying in boarding sch

i miss ISYF

i miss playing bridge etc. late into the night

i miss watching movies with friends on the laptop

i miss talking cock for endless hours

i miss(ed) 11:11..

cos

i wish that everything will turn out fine.

2010-08-19T21:58:00.002+08:00

we will definitely be hearing alot of this very soon. and my bio teacher started the ball rolling today - 6 more weeks to promos. every year i tell myself that the year is passing by very quickly and this year is no exception too.. somehow i just lost track of time and poof 8 months of 2010 gone. looking at the wonderful birthday card PubCO gave me on my 17th which had msgs like "looking forward to working with u" or "have a happy and fufilling council term".. and now it's already halfway through the council term. boss hoped that i would emerge a happy ITD and i guess im now rather glad im one (: haha working with troy and zisong of cos made the whole process alot more interesting..

but as a whole, my council term hasnt reached that point of being fufilling yet. guess i am not doing my part to achieve that.. but i dunno.. maybe sometimes with my personality it can get quite difficult. but i'll try =] to think that at some point of time i had the thought of "regret" having not pursued science research but council. but after rmbing the aftermath of the election results, i will give my all for council :D

tho it has been affecting my academics, which made my mum and teachers worried.. but actually after some thought, council is not the main reason but it is just me and my screwed up attitude that kind of appeared in sec4. my teacher told me that not getting good grades is one thing. but knowing that u have the potential to do well but instead let urself down is a worrying thing. not forgetting the constant reminder from my clsmates (who are doing much better) reminding me that i was from smtp.. anw thats not the point, but with others having faith in me, it would be like a crime if i dont change asap. all talk but no action is dumb.

TGIF tmr. okay maybe nt cos there's chem spa. but still its a good time to pick up the missing pieces and put things back to where they were. i still rmb the fridays i had last 2 years. now every friday is made up of impromptu stuff or just "see how it goes..." fridays also mean another full saturday in school. no wonder my weekends feel shorter now..

more jap drama/anime watching and try listening to some non-mainstream music..

MAF..

i shall just continue asking "are u free for dinner?" everyday.

random..

-----------------------

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that'll like those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time
Don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

~ Secrets, One Republic

(Y)!

2010-07-23T22:55:00.002+08:00

when can i ever get satisfied?

when i look happy on the outside it doesnt mean im the same inside.

wonder why i have been feeling so down. must be due to the super disappointing results or other problems i guess.

i used to hate the fact that i have to eat dinner out on my own everyday. in fact now i still do, at times. but its like a opportunity presented to me to catch up with friends during dinners.

thats what i love the most. ending ur tiring day with such a satisfying dinner. no matter how tired i am, i will still be looking forward to these nights. so i do have to thank those who have spent time to have dinner with me.

ever since boarding sch made my nights more fruitful than ever before. and now that im back home, nights indeed seem much quieter and boring. but i guess some personal time to concentrate on work or doing what i like might be good.

im glad people have asked me to be happy.

and that i shall be.

i shall seek to at least feel some sort of satisfaction.

so why not start with being satisfied after finishing painting some 27 huge boards or learning a dance with my partner tmr (:

sounds like a gd idea heh.

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So let me find my footing now
Along the bridge that I have found
If I keep falling down somehow
You know that you can turn me around

~ Taking Chances, Vedera

2010-06-12T12:19:00.002+08:00

okay its been some time. i gues i havent been posting much cos i had other avenues to say what i want to say. instead of just talking to myself here. but sometimes i'm left with nothing else but this.

the holidays started out quite well. well that it was rather fruitful with outings and stayovers and whatnot. sigh that it wasnt fruitful in terms of my studying for blocks, which up till now hasnt made much progress. it's now the 2nd week of the holidays and things have already started to become quiet. time somehow passes even slower now. and it seems like all i ever do is to walk around my room aimlessly, sometimes even daydreaming while staring at the sky. my mood for studying is somehow gone, apart from the random 1-2h of studying when i had the rare drive to do so. tho it is only halfway into the holidays, i can already declare it a failure. but i shall continue to push myself to do what i'm supposed to do, coupled with the constant pressure from my parents.. wish me luck.

gd thing that tmr is a day of celebration. a day to celebrate 1 month since the birth of the 37th. at least a day that i will get to see everyone and not worry about anything else. (other than burning a significant hole in my pocket). tmr just signals the start of something new, where things start to get going and of cos when we start feeling the real council workload.

just when i needed someone to talk to. there seems to be no one. so all i can do is sit and wonder how long 1 week will take to pass.

im amazed at how reading something can change your mood drastically. lol the power of words. but i also cant help but agree with someone that thinking too much abt something is a dangerous thing, same as being oversensitive i guess. i can just tell myself not to let it affect me but it just does not work. i realised my body is starting to disobey my mind. like how i just cant wake up tho i keep telling myself to get up when the alarm clock rings.

gahh.

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And I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
Its time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars
Baby, I cant fight this feeling anymore

~ Can't fight this feeling. (btw i love the glee version)

2010-04-21T23:25:00.002+08:00

after chionging thru my enzymes tutorial, i really had no mood to do anymore work. tho GP test is like tmr and i have like no idea how to really do an AQ. anw i'll jus see how screwed i'll get tmr..

nth better to do so attempted to organise stuff on my laptop. deleted loads of junk and finally created a new hcjc2010 file LOL. also chanced upon many cool stuff like old photos, saved msn convos from years ago. reading thru them was kinda interesting cos I'm reminded of all the politics (mainly class ones) in high sch.. things have indeed changed so much. ccleaner rocks. one click and poof ~1gb of stuff deleted.

then there was this particular notepad file. a long long letter that was supposed to be a facebook note i tink. didnt noe i saved it but reading it made me feel kinda good, to relive those memories.

gotta keep this note like as long as i can, cos its great for keeping my spirits up when i feel down.

fac outing this sat - Blue Royale! hmm some kind of dimsum buffet restaurant. but there's still council in the aftnoon tat day, and i'll still have to perfect the performance asap gahh.. freak its gonna be dam spastic but heckcare.. just go out there and do it..

[gosh the jap sweets in the tin is dam nice. but dam ex..]

---

realise that.

even the simplest thing can make me smile.

---

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.

~ Yellow, Coldplay

2010-04-15T22:34:00.003+08:00

my very 1st welfare room duty just ended today (:

wasnt as sian as i thought i would be. in fact it was kinda fun with eryn n hongrun. with all the random chatting, singing, guitar-playing, "snap"ping, while being mobbed by pple who want to borrow blazers and buy snacks.. it was a cool experience, except the part where i get super confused about the money issues and stock counting n stuff.. this shows i can never become treasurer D: totally looking forward to my next welfare duty!

internal elections tmr! not running for exco but have to see who is the WelCo head! WELFARE COORDINATOR all the way~ (: really really really hope to be part of the WelCo family cos i tink im best suited there and then can do the cool looking welfare-affair thingy like what mark hee did xD

dinner today was bad with only instant noodles cos the coffeeshop next to my house decided to slack off and close for 1 day wth. lucky still got that mama shop with overpriced stuff..

gosh next mon is BIO test and i have started a single thing. which means die le. summore i was feeling like crashing ares fac outing at sentosa. this yr bio is crazy, must memorise like freaking lot of specific stuff. wish me luck.

---------------------

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

~ The Man Who Cant be Moved, The Script

2010-04-14T23:17:00.002+08:00

today was another EPIC day. not that i made a slight improvement in my math test result or that school ended at exactly 1.45pm..

one small but valid reason would be the presidential QnA today. where liki almost had to do his "walrus" dance but ended up showing off his slick dance moves with the butt jerk mass dance. cool enough to earn my applause and of cos everyone's applause tho (:

but the major major cool thing was Track n Field Finals. there has to be a reason for me to say that TnF finals in the best event to attend and cheer for. not only cos there are hyper-energetic sec 1s cheering with us but the atmosphere and the overall feeling is just freaking zai. being a consortium councillor in high sch, i was thankful that i had a chance to go down twice. so this year i was super lucky to be able to go down again. but going down as part of the JC council felt very different, lol like we cant really do much for the overall cheering except join the cheers -.-

lol but in the end, i knew i just had to join the crazy 36th n 37th HSC and really cheer our hearts out, until we screw up our voices like some shit. tats what we are there for, tats what cheering is all about. :D finally managed to relive the dam good feeling of holding the suprahuge "WANG" banner at the field with the rest of the councillors. all that chionging for our spot and screaming were really dam memorable. and in the midst of all that, i felt that i really missed high school alot. but the spirit lives on forever n ever and i hope the 37th CSC will have such an amazing hwachong spirit (:

yeah double champs n double 2nd. and as usual after the sch song n final cheers, we just kept chanting, not half day but FULL DAY xD lol can see dr hon's cheeky smile with the rest of the teachers. hope to hear the good news prob next mon?

anw those at macs n the other councillors, u guys ROCK!

------------------

we will we will rock you
we will we will shock you.

~ Rock You, Hwa Chong Council.

2010-04-11T20:57:00.003+08:00

what better way to spend the weekend than watching anime lol. not that im trying to slack off and not study econs. after studying econs for like hours, its srsly getting dam sian so yeah finish watching kimi no todoke.. haiz but this weekend really went by supra fast. prob cos i wasted the whole friday going to Bugis with people i never ever went out with before to walk randomly. dunno why but i suddenly had the itch to spend money. den my whole sat was spent at Salt Centre taking photos for IBP EP quest.. it was quite an interesting event to take photos cos seeing all those pri sch kids making their inventions and then presenting their elevator pitch was kinda cool. finally had a chance to take photos for such events after not doing so since high sch ended... haiz but i had to sacrifice going to watch huangcheng.. D: as much as i want to go and watch, its over le. prob next year bah.

tmr will be the very first worksession ever since i got into council. hope to know the other 49 better since i missed the best chance to do so in the camp which i missed. gahh too bad that im someone who doesnt really take the initiative for such things. but i guess i have to learn to do so to make the most out of my council journey (:

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miss walking the long stretch under the stars

the aroma of coffee from starbucks

or the noise and activity throughout the entire block.

instead of facing my laptop in my study room all day

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Oh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

~ I Just Can't Live a Lie, Carrie Underwood

2010-03-28T16:14:00.003+08:00

love this video!

say YES to YESH!

join our grp: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110745548938435&ref=mf

2010-03-21T00:13:00.002+08:00

this week of "holidays" comes to an end. which also signals the start of campaigning period. time to get high and fun. but of cos its gonna be a super busy week..

group work has never been so tough. prob cos of 3 people with different personalities and different ways of doing things. makes deciding and other stuff much harder D: but of cos we can never have a perfect grp wifout much time to get to know each other and then decide. being the leader is definitely not all that easy too. esp when u are supposed to be the one that makes the final decision n whatever. haiz but its good that the rest aso take part in the decision making. den slowly u can see the strengths n weaknesses of each other. lol as the leader, i shud realise such stuff n grp dynamics and put it to our grp's advantage. hmm but i guess i'm nt relle gd at doing such things yet. all i can do is try my best to accommodate their weaknesses and let them do the things they want, unless things really get too out of hand. even tho they might be a little inflexible at times and then i get frustrated. but of cos i really really dont wanna argue or make things worse. so i shall be as flexible as i can be and take in everything. seems like the best plan heh. i hope..

but still the 3 of us rawk. there are still times when our ideas jus seem to click and we get super overly excited abt stuff. haha which is good. working together definitely has its highs n lows, so yeah. shall folo what twex says, put all our strengths to good use (:

gahh its not too bad saying everything out here. esp when u are not around for me to talk to. even tho when im feeling stressed up or sian, i would relle hope to talk. haha hope u will do the same too when u are feeling like dat.

since we have come thus far, we shall press on (: jiayou jiayou jiayou!

cos we'll never let you down.

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Tell me
Did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find?
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

~ Drops of Jupiter, Train

2010-03-11T20:53:00.004+08:00

i guess missing 2 important days of school is rather worth it. after dunno how many hours of intense judging and stoning, BacP has done it again with a gold (: this one being the biggest award our grp has ever achieved. supradupra happy omgosh. the 3 of us have come such a long way, with SMP, BioTech fair, projects day, greenwave and now SSEF 2010. guess this also signals the end of the competition route for us. but i really really hope this is not the end of BacP has such a zai grp. thanks alex and mengying. BacP ftw!

so now its back to reality and work again. gahh. jus realised i'll be dam busy too, with council stuff having to be rushed out so quickly and all that overdue homework etc. haiz altho i know there's pple out there worse than me so i shudnt complain that much la. just have to "press on and dont give up" - the exact words mr galvin sng wrote for me in a note after sec 1.

i shud tell this phrase to those who are struggling to cope with all that stress and maybe even wanting to give up.. yep jiayou!

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i know ur troubles and struggles

but too bad im nt able to be there to help.

i dont really know what i can do.

except for just standing by

and cheer you on to keep going.

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Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight

~Hey, soul sister, train

2010-03-09T00:51:00.002+08:00

phew im in. but this jus means there's so much more work coming.

council stuff by 15th march gahh!

mj and kenneth jyjy!! :D

guess the full day off tmr shall be spent with half the day in sch and the other half in sci centre.

wonder if i'll see others in sch tmr too..

during such times of work frenzy, is when i really need that someone there to share the burden.

or just to talk it off and make whatever i have done seem meaningful.

thats when i really do feel contented.

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a random cat just appeared at my doorstop meowing super loudly and pitifully..

my mum forced me to close the door.

but it squeezed thru the gap in the gate.

den it meowed even louder.

omg how i wish i could pick it up.

but too bad. i had to bear with the meowing until it faded away 10mins later.

awww..

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I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got tI'me while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

~ Breakeven, The Script

2010-03-08T00:08:00.003+08:00

so much has happened since the last time i posted (aka last month D:)

for one, things have really gotten busier. but luckily (or maybe not) dramafeste has ended. tho i put my whole heart into it, artemis did not manage to win anything. i could sense the feeling of sadness after the results were announced, when we all gathered back at the cold LT2. and our director was like.. but in any case, it was the great experience that counts. especially spending all that fun times with PROPS pple and all those 7H pple who were involved. so much fun to stay back late together and of cos skip lessons together LOL. so maybe the end of dramafeste isnt that gd after all...

council interview is over and now tomorrow results will be out at 12nn. too bad i dont have any breaks then to see the results. pray that all 4 of us could get in. and of cos those pple who support from other facs. jiayou! not forgetting expose 2 tmr, where things start getting busy as preparations for campaigning starts..

tho many might agree with me that we all miss our high sch times but hmm i guess it would be best to stay contented with our life nw in jc.. tho meeting up might not be that often anymore, which means i have to treasure every single time that we actually get to meet, be it over dinner or jus some normal kind of chat.

so im glad that im very contented just being able to eat, walk randomly, drink coffee etcetc whenever im free. cos it seems that pple jus arent as free as before alrdy. or rather like totally dont have time at all. hope u would feel that way too.

seems like i relle shud nt bother so much. tho i might nt accept it but i shud just leave things as they are. it does nt mean others will think the same way. gd luck in finding ur new circle. thats all i can say.

-----------

its not that u dont have it.

but somehow u just dont feel it.

------------

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

~ I Stay in Love, Mariah Carey

2010-02-23T00:09:00.000+08:00

so much more busy.
cant imagine what the next few weeks to be like.
YAY home learning (:

today was like 4h of consecutive lessons.
throwing a small light bright green frisbee around.
manage to guess 1 out of 5 chinese jokes/riddles
know how lame shutao actually is
just as how yingsiu n cheryl have become with that book
or how cheapskate tianchong can get
and how pure kenneth is
props can be rather sian
but it can be fun with 6/10 pple from 7H!

walking to classes has just become more fun
cos i can poke n pinch twex to get my revenge
wait till i see nigel.
watch out xD

i hope tmr will be better.
cos sch would be so interesting cos of u guys.
cheers!

2010-02-18T22:04:00.002+08:00

the laughter never stops.

lets see..

chem lesson.

chem teacher: lets do self-introduction! do include one interesting/unique thing about urself..

me: hmm.. im from RED CROSS. but i cant stand the sight of blood.

other worth-mentioning self-intros..

kangtai: im from fishing, but i dont like to eat fish. neither do i like to fish on the bridge.

shutao: im from gardening and i am grade 5 in ballet. (chem teacher goes: do a ballet dance NAO!)

kenneth: im from figure skating and i like to apply nail polish.

tianchong: im from hunting. i shoot ___ at saudi arabia

sean: im from digging. i like digging gold.

WOW. thanks charlottle (:

Econs lecture

among the dozen times i dozed off. or the countless times i shook my legs cos i was too bored, until the whole row of chairs shook. oops.

there was the laugh@JK club. cos maybe we are all crazy JKers. and i mean JOKERS not that THING that fell on that poor guy.

dam bad. tho it kept me awake for abt half the lecture.

thanks to charlotte again .___.

Bio tutorial

time to guess 2 interesting things abt our bio teacher.

something to do with world cup? oh u are a BOOKIE? oh no u are the mascot.

dream job? err BUS DRIVER?

bio teacher: OMGOSH. how did u noe?? i always dreamt of being a SBS bus driver.

thanks to charlotte (AGAIN?!?!) wif her BUS pencilbox.

last but not least.

my name as a abbreviation (as required by chem teacher), inspired by ideas from charlotte the joker #2 (#1 has to be tianchong)

N o

I ntelligience (for)

C hemistry

H aving

O nly

L earnt

A bout

S ubstitution reaction

end of my eventful day. (oh n floorball training was kinda fun. frisbee tmr?)

2010-02-17T22:13:00.002+08:00

mixed feelings today.

real college life has jus started. with all the lectures and tutorials coming into place properly. which also means more work. havent done homework in like ages, so writing chemical equations with my pen seemed kinda weird at first. took some time to get used to it again.. lol one thing i actually felt satisfied was that i actually managed to sit down at home and complete my homework (altho i intentionally left out the bio essay qn), lol something that i havent accomplished in quite a while. always my habit to leave things to the last minute to do then rush it out or dun do at all.. haha so this was quite an achievement, maybe a sign for better things to come. maybe its also gd that my cls has a sort of mugging culture (like when there's free time, its better to mug then stone), make me wanna join in this cls bonding activity aso O_O

tho i had much fun with my ct and all that. yeah it still seems that jc life is made up of spending time with ur ct. new people which you have known for probably a month. but somehow i dunno why, there's like no time to meet up with ur old frens, or maybe they dont have the time to meet too. with all that ct, og, cca meetings, lunch, dinners, outings blah blah.. i dunno if i shud be happy or damdam sad that my og is like non-existent. like someone said, maybe im not that mentally prepared for such a life in jc. still living in the past high sch and boarding sch life. once again, i get to realise how big boarding sch has become a part of my life. so big n impt that everything still seems to different w/o it. lol tho i have been out for a couple of months le.

ahh have to tell myself la. whats so bad about jc life anw? its like soso much fun rite.

i'll jus have to look forward to more interesting things that will be coming my way.

hope so.

fac dance must have been one of my most interesting moments in my life. never once had i enjoyed dancing so much lol. altho we didnt win, but the best thing was definitely being able to dance the whole dance wifout screwing up. and of cos thanks to my ubergood dance parter yingsiu (: i wonder when we will get to dance like that ever again..

...

wth why did i read it. spoil my mood, but i still feel like continuing to read it.

argh it does not mean u must get everything that u want.

maybe i shud stone somewhere windy, cooling n refreshing to free myself frm troubles.

-----------------------------

I run from hate
I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists
But I run too late
I run my life
Or is it running me
Run from my past
I run too fast
Or too slow it seems

~ I Run to You, Lady Antebellum

2010-02-09T21:07:00.002+08:00

end of orientation. end of all the time where we would experience the most fun and laughter. so we think that sian lessons would start this week, haha but the epic thing is that lessons only take up 1/5 of the day? gosh la, which means supra lot of time for stoning around and having so much fun with ur CT.

i must say my CT is just superb. altho we havent really bonded as a whole class, but bonding in many mini grps is dam fun, and probably this is a gd sign that the cls will be bonded together very very soon (: haha tian chong's comic relief, shi qi's superduper cold jokes and whatnot and random inputs from others totally made these 2 days of the week so enriching. not forgetting interesting teachers (esp bio lecture 1) and umm lectures that do not make me sleep (as yet)

tho at first i was disappointed i did not get into Ares but getting into Artemis might just be a blessing in disguise.. as said by someone that i cant recall, everything does happen for a reason yeah? altho my fac might be the most-stone among all 4 facs, but we are a force to be reckoned with and as long as im in artemis, i'll do my best to help my fac be the best we can :D

10s7H ftw! looking forward to spending the 2 short years with them (:

...

tho it has been fun times so far.

but i just cant neglect the random thoughts in my mind that is affecting me so much.

i broke my rule.

when im having fun, when im spending time with my CT or others,

it does not mean my thoughts dont wander off to somewhere else.

its you but u dont realise it.

gosh i dont know why this is happening.

but im not in control.

gahh.

sometimes i just wanna..

but i cant.

bio notes look fun

chem stuff look cool

maths work look scary

yeah im scared.

2010-01-28T22:11:00.005+08:00

cool orientation, Ad Infinitum, starts today! officially in OG11 with ervin seng as my zai OGL (:

since today's orientation program has been mostly boring academic talks and stuff like that, and just very few icebreakers, its not really worth mentioning yeah..

the start to jc life has been quite eventful, though there have been both ups and downs la. i guess it was a super good decision to go for isyf haha. not only making great friends from all around the world (special mention for malaysian friends like shaun xD) but the best is still getting to know so many more jc2s and those who will be my batch mates this year. thanks to isyf, i got to know 2 great facils leona and tse yean, super uber nice friend plus loyal photographer kae yuan and not forgetting batchmates yinglin and kat.

it was kinda unexpected i guess. right after isyf ended, sch @ jc started and the 5 of us (alex, yinglin, kat, kae yuan and me) seemed to naturally click together and formed a rather cool friendship haha. as of now we are better known as "OneNoTramp" with inspiration from kat :D being this is grp is dam dam cool. we r planning to run for council as a grp (if we are in the same fac, and we are like praying uber hard tat we will be), then aso go for Game On! carnival and play a game we played for the first time in our lifes and of cos all those meetings now and then to chat about anything (cos there are no secrets between us lol) or spam play cards (:

such a friendship is definitely super memorable and i definitely it will stay that way.

but as new friendships are bound to be made now, what i really do hope is all those old or rather existing ones do not fall apart and jus disappear like that. i will srsly feel like killing myself if any friendships esp those close ones do break for dunno what reason. yeah i jus hope they dont dao me or whatnot or change in the way they treat me. haiz even tho im feeling that they are sometimes but nvm. even close friends do have certain weaknesses rite.. cant blame them if they are not that sensitive to your feelings as u think they might be. i realised that restraining is a very bad thing, lol jus let them find their own friends aso ba. trust still most impt i guess. and i still hold on to that trust man. (:

haiz and also now that we enter jc, with not only our batch of guys frm high sch but also loads of people frm other schs, including the girls. while we are trying to make friends with the girls or like hang out with girls frm O.N.T, there will be like stares from everyone or people will start to dao u or smt. gah, people shud jus grow up soon and not only have the thought that we are super despo people. cos we are definitely not.. anyway as one of my gd frens told me recently, i shud just be myself cos i dont have to care what others think of me. let them say what they want la.

sometimes i wish that the people i often refer to in my posts will read all this. but it would be good for those who read my blog to tag on the tagboard. lol cos it is too dead ><"

but anyway for now i would try to forget about such stuff for the time being n enjoy the week of fun and laughter with my OG and OneNoTramp! lol.

the dinner i had tonight was really enjoyable for some unexplainable reason..

O.N.T jus rocks man. OG11 aso xD

-----------------------------

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

~ Smile, Uncle Kracker

2010-01-26T00:10:00.002+08:00

tired but today seems to be a day worth mentioning about.

first day of sch for me, altho last day of ip activities. orientation to commence from this thursday onwards.

tmr and wed no sch! WOOTS! which means more fun fun fun before the actual fun on thurs :D

sch today was uber cool. met nice pple, formed cool groups, made great pacts and hopefully can get to become great friends with some of them!

everything seems to go rather well. nice start to sch life. FLOP! (tentative) coming up soon, great plans for ttb. alright man!

eh but somehow deep inside there's this confusing thing that is troubling me, esp after today?

gosh we'll see..

2010-01-15T00:33:00.003+08:00

back from my longest ever chalet in my life. 4d3n (although i skipped the 1st night).

nice place, at an ulu place at Pasir Ris. Quiet and cool place, located right next to Pasir Ris park and the sea side! :D

as always chalets get very tiring even if its just one night stay, what more 2/3 nights?!?!

seems like im posting for the sake of posting. cos im feeling very tired.

and im also feeling some weird kind of indescribable feelings ><" something which seems to be bothering me and affecting my mood, but i cant exactly find the cause of it or explain it.. prob i didn't think abt it enough. but thinking too much is dumb. so for now, i shall sleep, hopefully i wake up feeling normal again.

i wonder if someone has the ability to change ur mood, to both extreme ends. either very good or very lousy. maybe this explains why?

we'll see..

-------------------------

Do you hear me?
I'm talking to you
Across the water,
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky,
Oh my, baby I'm trying

~ Lucky, Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat

2010-01-08T01:02:00.002+08:00

gosh its late. its 1am. im tired. i wan to slp. but haha blog post first!

#3 visit to my fave Settler's Cafe. today's grp of 4 was made up of the 2 jokers zisong n bradley and then twex n me. let's see.. the games we played today were more of the crazy and scream type. while we played one long no-brain strategy game (yeah tats what the guy said). and yea u know why it is so long and no-brain? cos the instructions were unclear and blah blah blah, so we ended up playing 2 games without finishing either of them. gahh.. so being uber annoyed we gave up on the game.

exciting much was how we tried to change the rules of the game and play it in the pine-brad-twex-nick way, which was obviously so much more fun then the usual playing method. they shud totally add in this special playing method we created. guaranteed more satisfaction for the customers (: then there was more screaming, whacking, snatching etc etc. dont have the energy to elaborate any further.

do check out zisong's blog (check out my links) for more details, stories and some unglam photos..

for once in a rather long time i feel quite sleepy at 1am..

i shall end here.

3 more days to higher chinese results D: D:

----------------------

You were everything, everything
That I wanted,(that I wanted)
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it (we lost it)
All of the memories so close to me
Just fade away

~ My Happy Ending, Avril Lavigne

2010-01-07T00:21:00.003+08:00

first day out for a proper outing for a long time. and yeah i consider 1 week to be a very long time. cos time passes too slowly while stoning at home D:

haiz dead tired after all that cheering, shouting, head shaking in disbelief and whatnot at the National Stadium today.. with my red shirt, i went for my second live match watching singapore vs iran for AFC qualifiers. quite a good atmosphere altho stadium only 1/3 filled. mostly people in red but those in green aka iran supporters somehow took 3 strategic spots around the stadium. and their cheering totally pwned us. worthy of the stares that all the singaporeans are giving them.. first got scammed by the food and drinks there, then next was the shocking scoreline of 2-0 against the lions at around 1omins and then comes the good part when everyone went crazy as the lions headed in their first goal..

but still the best part would be the super cool comments from the people behind us. dam funny la their comments about interesting parts of the game. lol mostly insults to referee, to both iran and sg players and also iran supporters. should totally go into the list of super quotable quotes lol. haha even tho we lost but our spirits (or at least the 3 of us) were definitely lifted cos of these people.

end of match. saw couple of hci pple. stuffed myself with oversized prata and uber big ice milk tea after that. heaviest supper i had in ages le..

ok. email, facebook, tribalwars, finish blogpost, slp.

nites. another tiring but FUN day tmr i hope. (:

2010-01-05T22:30:00.002+08:00

Did not have the best start to the year so far.. Was suddenly down with some bad headaches and then a fever. lucky i took panadol at the right time and good that the fever subsided as of now. im feeling okay but this random bout of illness got me stoning at home for 2 days. prob some bug going around? hope not. sch starting soon or rather has already started for most, so best if such a thing doesn't go spreading around.

anw with 2 days for me to stone, i managed to watch naruto shippuden all the way to the latest epi. next epi at 7jan. lol kinda no life watching the whole day but there's like nothing else better to do, and since i cant go out. sigh.. sch or rather isyf only starts like in 2 weeks time. looking at all the students in uniform today, lol enjoying after sch hours outside kinda reminds me of the fun in bs and wherever last year after sch. now i wonder if it is better to have this 2 week break after new year or going back to school straight would be better. looks like i have to grab this chance to finish up undone stuff and of cos go out and go out even more (:

stoning ends tmr! first an isyf audition for BacP to present in front of the participants and VIPs 2 weeks later. shud not be a prob since bacP has endured through countless number of presentations and gained much from every single one of them. shall do my best tmr!

and then at night, i shud be going to National Stadium to watch my first ever live soccer match. lol singapore vs iran match i think. although it's not some match of my dreams like being at Old Trafford, but i guess the atmosphere shud clear all of my boredom bah.

with that i shall look forward to tmr. and of cos the day after tomorrow ((:

------------------

Dont stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party dont stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

~ Tick Tock, Kesha

its 2010!

2010-01-01T18:06:00.002+08:00

Cheers to my first post of the year!

everything as usual on this first day of the year, more like a rainy and gloomy day. just hope that it is not any bad sign of anything going to happen. probably should just listen to my mum.. water equals to wealth? lol so bring in the wealth! increase my allowance! yeah rite..

a full day at home means i should continue watching my naruto shippuden. omgosh i soso slow. only at epi 80 now. and it seems like i have so many tv series and animes queued up for watching. gosh and holidays are only left with a mere 18 days.

oh which reminds me i have loads to do this month, most of it the preparation for ISYF when school supposedly starts. good for us cos we attend the forum while the rest are in for some revision classes. but sians that now i have to stay active on the science forums and finish reading up a book titled "What Patients Taught Me - A Medical Student's Journey" by Audrey Young. I'm supposed to read it for a book circle in the sci forum -.- must be the great idea of our hci seniors zz. the book seems interesting, at least for me since i might be pursuing a medical kind of career.. lol i just turned to a random page and found it talking abt someone with gonorrhea and some stuff of condoms.. ><" okay.. i shall finish reading it asap.

my desk is supra messy now. lazy to clear stuff and also because of a sudden influx of gifts from all around the world lol. but anw my desk looks so cool now. a cute little camel frm Egypt, a silver bell from New York, a small porcelain vase frm Sarawak.. lol theres more. hmm huge photo of IBP cycle 1, "Mr Sng's Final Digest", a purple tulip stalk and lyrics of "Thank You My Friend"..

shall find the determination to clear the mess one fine day.

yay and i finally thought of 2010 resolution number 2:

Stay positive and happy all the time!

haha happy is such a simple word. shall try hard to fulfill that ba.

----------------

So here's to our friendship
For the moments we have shared
I hope we'll see each other
On the roads that are still ahead.

~ Thank You My Friend, Mr Galvin Sng

2009-12-31T23:11:00.002+08:00

it all ends tonight. tomorrow shall be a new beginning.

unlike last year where i was squeezing with the crowds at marina bay somewhat enjoying the festive atmosphere, this year i'll be ushering in the new year at the comfort of my home.

although i wasn't able to fulfill my wish of counting down with my friends, smses n well wishes from everyone still puts smile on my face (:

yupp. a new beginning it shall be. as 2009 becomes a thing of the past. where all the memories, good and bad left behind like footprints in the sand. i'll just hope that those good memories will be deeply etched in the ground like how it is in my mind and not get washed away by the waves.

2009 a year of ups and downs. but of cos i want to just remember the great times. like the great buddies i have made, true friends that have been by my side all these while. shall take some time just reminiscing abt the great things (:

2009 was the year that..

BacP went through thick and thin to achieve much

the most amazing thing that happened to me in my life - IBP cycle 2

the Americans paid us a visit! :D

we formed per[fac]tion in 15slc.

Ties That Bind became the best 6 man group ever.

i got to know a true friend - weixiang

i loved my f3 juniors

i fell in love with starbucks

f3 rocked so much with darren, yongzhi and nicklui

i wished i knew some people better

i received the most gifts from all around the world

i had the best dinner - commencement dinner

i had so much fun during classes with 4s3

i stopped growing taller D:

i had the most outings in my life so far.

outings at settlers were so super memorable and great

i learned to play the great game of german bridge

i had the most and best stayovers

of my best best BEST memories (:

still trying to continue the list..

okay 5 mins to the new year.. hmm no real resolutions as yet but there's number 1!

"Smile and make others smile! :D :D"

i rmb i said a smile gets u out of difficult situations. but what i admire most are genuine smiles. totally not fake smiles..

let take the old and make it new!

hear i am living in 2009. but 2010 hear i come!!!

ohh yeah. time for the countdown pple. (:

2009-12-29T21:57:00.002+08:00

today has been another day of coincidences. was on the bus to toa payoh when it passed by school. saw wernie n kelvin at nanyang bus stop, then suddenly matthew was right in front of me in the bus.. planned to meet at subway toa payoh so that we can also see ernest working there. haha my first time visiting him at his workplace, and of cos best of all getting a good discount for a nice subway meal (: then amazingly mrs khoo appeared behind us with her son.. haha she supra funny. even took a picture of ernest at his workplace.

bridge is fun. but u know what? german bridge is like so so much more fun. more people should definitely learn how to play so easier to find people to play with.

cos after matthew left after lunch, i played german bridge with twex n benji.. played round after round until one of ernest colleagues came to give us a gentle reminder abt being caught by the guards.. dun wan to cause trouble so left for amkh and found a awkward looking spot to play.. despite all the stares from uncles n kids, lol we still had a uber fun game. 2nd time playing and i alrdy almost got 2nd place le. nt bad heh.

new year coming. no resolutions as yet. but i felt tat the most ideal celebration would be counting down to 2010 with frens, but it seems my whole family will be at marina bay squeezing with the crowds.. hopefully in the future bah.

thankful tat i always get cheered up even when i'm feeling uber uber sians.

wish i had such an ability to make people smile heh (:

---------------------

I look so good without you
Got me a new hair due
Lookin' fresh and brand new
since you said that we were through
done with your lies
baby now my tears dry
you can see my brown eyes
ever since you said goodbye

~ I Look So Good (Without You), Jessie James

2009-12-28T20:21:00.002+08:00

seems like the best thing to do after coming back home from a holiday trip is to continue what i've been doing, to have even more outings.. and continue what we have always enjoyed doing.

today's destination has been set to be at city hall.. with a plan to visit JCO n its donuts again. okay not that i hate their donuts (i actually love them alot), but im fed up with the company itself. TTB has spent much time sending emails to them regarding a possible collaboration. after getting daoed for the 1st time, we even wrote a letter and gave it to the JCO pple personally at raffles city mall. and we got no reply again. worse still, i tried my luck and sent them a job application mail and got totally daoed . argh dam fed up alrdy. guess we have to try out luck wif the "seemingly not so popular and not so many customers rival", donut factory. dont think they can rival jco tho..

but anyways, just as how plans can change drastically at the last minute.. decided nt to have donuts, save money n spend less bucks at our lao di fang, starbucks (: after drinking tons of hot coffee in cold HK, now its time for some cold frap. then walked through city link.. still rmb the last time i was there was when i was running through it with my SLC grp.. haha 13 slc (:

i definitely shud be in a good mood like as much as possible. a feeling that has been so foreign to me for a long time.

haha like today. normal outing yet filled with laughter :D

no matter how usual it might be, it still makes me smile (:

-------------------------

Am I supposed to put my life on hold
Because you dont know how to act,
and you dont know where your life is going
Am I supposed to be torn apart,
broken hearted, in a corner crying
Pardon me if i dont show it

~ Goodbye, Kristinia DeBarge

2009-12-26T21:47:00.003+08:00

heyhey. back from my short holiday trip to hongkong.

at first i felt the urge to write about my trip, but somehow, something kinda distracted me from it. just like how ur feelings or mood will change after reading certain stuff. yea smt like that.

but actually there's nothing much to say about hong kong. rather just random comments or experiences bah.

weather there is perfect. totally just like an air-conditioned nation literally. dam shuang.

this trip not much of touring around cos one main plan is to spend time at Disneyland. so that my little cousin can enjoy herself.

quite as expected, hong kong disneyland was quite a letdown. in terms of its size, its like super small? cant exactly compare to disneylands elsewhere cos i dont have the chance see the bigger ones anyway.

rides are rather boring. and i couldn't exactly go for any ride i wanted due to certain restrictions here and there. just go there to enjoy the atmosphere of the christmas celebration and all the parades etc. just took more of the family friendly rides like those boat rides.. when i stepped into disneyland, i was more interested in finding someone there.. tried looking around for hours but still no one.. lol until i entered "its a small world" cos someone recommended this ride. then somewhere in the sea of people, there's this familiar looking head. shouted his name.. lol dunno why i did tat cos everyone was like turning around to stare at me.. good that they heard me. naturally they were shocked at first, then as expected i heard the word "cockroach".. even managed to take a photo wif them after the ride (: indeed a small world heh. interesting thing number 2 i meeting lumberry at a cafe in tomorroland.. some fastfood cafe.. lol this time i was totally stunned.. and of cos another photo. these 2 super cool meetings totally made my day, no matter how sucky disneyland was.

the rest of the trip was rather sians already.. okay apart from shopping and shopping at this super big mall full of outlet stores. and also eating and eating non stop everywhere. and also watching all the soccer matches i can on the hotel tv. cable tv oh yeah.. (: best.

ok dun have the mood to talk about the trip anymore..

maybe i just feeling tired bah.

sometimes we do hope to be significant to others right? not just some kind of tool or what to others. but the worse is when u dont noe if u are.. cos there's no feedback or whatsoever.

its not that there's no recognition. it's just that u dont really see it. but actually there's someone out there giving it to u (:

---------------------------

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

~ Over You, Chris Daughtry

2009-12-18T22:21:00.003+08:00

i confess i am totally not an avid blogger, at least not thinking about doing some kind of daily post thing yeh. only when the inspiration comes do I start writing stuff. but seeing that i wont be able to post for a few days since im away, why not do so today?

good to see that people are already arriving back home, only to have to bid them goodbye again tomorrow. sigh. leaving at such a time means the next time to meet has to be pushed back all the way till next year. seems like a freaking long period of time..

but i guess everything that needs to be done is quite done haha. just that certain events didn't go as planned but eventually everything turned out fine, thanks to all of our last minute decision skills. this week has just been occupied with staying at home watching naruto shippuden (must say that i have come to like watching animes alot) and also going out (as usual) to malls at different ends of Singapore. even though i went out with twex on 2 consecutive days (due to some changes in certain plans), but it was kinda fun , with one day being at Boon Lay and the other at Bishan. even though it was just walking around aimlessly, getting scammed with a hot cup of latte, complaining that we are getting real tired and hungry, sitting at random places to chat and chat even more or to secretly take videos of weird people riding some sort of horse machine (lol not my idea of cos xD).. it was certainly great.

most of the times, i guess i am willing to go the extra mile for my friends. be it traveling to far away places, or staying up all night to look after someone, or any other simple stuff. in the past i used to bother that i dont receive the appreciation, that others dont reciprocate. but thankfully, i have grown to learn that i dont need to receive such recognition. its just good to be glad that i have actually managed to do something for others. okay i shud not make myself seem so wei da, cos definitely at times i still yearn for that little appreciation.

although i wished that many others in IBP or those who have been with me throughout my 4 years in high sch could have given me some form of acceptance or just to reciprocate, i think i should think that i am fortunate to have just a few, even though it might only be one, who appreciates what i have done (:

just like how i was pleasantly surprised that someone replied my sms, even tho i thought that there wouldn't be a reply. yeah even simple gestures like that would kinda put a smile on my face.

anw i think i am kinda selfish. sometimes i cant help it, but i shud just rid myself of such stupid thoughts.

haha. and of course. i am taking every single goodbye seriously. cos u will never know if u will get to say that again :D

frm naruto -- when bonds are formed between people, it is usually hard to forget. and that you will do anything u can to protect that bond.

-------------------------

not lyrics today. just songs that brings back memories, whether it is sad or happy ones.

Won't go home without you - Maroon 5
Untouched - The Veronicas
记得 - 张惠妹
真心地感谢你，My Friend - Galvin Sng
Lucky - Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat

2009-12-13T21:16:00.002+08:00

cool i managed to endure this whole week. not bad..

thanks to various outings to kill my boredom haha. first was a great meet-up with my primary sch mates for 2 days! one movie day and another fun day at Jason's house, even though most of the time was spent slacking..

another great event was the somewhat formation of a soccer team lols. we somehow just came together one day and decided to challenge some pple from nanhua sec. great game, even managed to score an equaliser, but not to forget it was thanks to mengying for his match winner goal. 4-3.. OH YEAH. not a bad first win heh. promising team (:

another thing worth mentioning is the discovery of another group of people, a group of adventurous pple i must say. haha those who are willing to brave the heat and do stuff like going from farm to farm, going to trek at nature reserves and even wanting to go to the zoo. haha. even more interesting is that Mrs Goh is leading this group of adventurous pple. finally found another great way to spend my hols. Worth elaborating would be the farm hopping trip. not a bad way to spend the day, while not burning any holes in your pocket. great trip for photographers, adventurers or even those who are feeling supra bored. Apart from all these, cheers to prata making tmr morning! :D

okay some random rants that i do not relle now where to place in this post. why not just randomly place it here..

sometimes it takes a long trip together to show everything. now, i couldn't agree more.

its good to see that some things have been somehow resolved. at least now i know the situation.

shall wait to see how things turn out. lol now it is just the beginning of things (:

-------------------------

This is real, this is me.
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now,
gonna let the light shine on me,
now I've found who I am,
there's no way to hold it in,
no more hiding who I want to be,
this is me.

~ This Is Me - Demi Lovato

2009-12-07T23:23:00.004+08:00

another tiring day out today. kinda of special outing cos its a primary sch gathering! okay prob not that special cos its once again the "NYGH -HCI" outing. but in any case, it was fun fun fun but totally money sapping.. D: haiz my one month allowance leh.. die.

one of the rare days where i get to pool, bowl, shop and watch movies one after another. what is the best way to kill time during a whole day outing? watch movies (: not one but a 2-movie marathon.. have to applaud myself for staying away from popcorn/snacks for all the movies.

okay.. movie number 1: Fantastic Mr. Fox!

didn't noe it was Roald Dahl book until today. haiz no childhood D:

and it's animation! not a bad movie cos its kinda cute but weird wifout a climax as someone pointed out. but i kinda liked it this way. cant really judge how gd it is la anw cos im not a avid movie goer.. the movies i watch are like mostly animation.. watched one horror movie before tho. but pls dont remind me of that experience. horror is a NONO. dun wanna throw my money away like that..

number 2: Couples retreat.

disgusting. lol first word that comes to my mind. tats why there's like a NC16 rating.. but not as bad as u might tink it is la. just that it is quite a boring movie la. some stupid twist to the story and the lovey dovey happy ever after ending. watch it if u wanna see topless or even bottomless guys.

ok enuf of my crap movie reviews.

but nth else relle interesting. oh saw our pri sch clsmate which we haven seen in years. looks kinda different la. lol hope to see more transformations this thurs. if i can go..

oh and if u are dying from thirst while shopping at westmall, but do not have a drink with u. do visit the convenient water dispenser outside Udders for icy cold water FOC (: even have free cups and free seating.

-----

adding on to our event yesterday..

1 Event

105 Teams

83 Locations

735 Volunteers

59,000* Tulips sold

$118,000** funds raised

Countless number of people reached!

cheers! :D

---------------------------

Fussin' and fightin', we back at it again
I know that, it's my fault, but you don't understand
I got memories, this is crazy
You ain't nothing like the girl I used to know
Good with ma, good with pa, cool with all my niggas
I should try, truth is I wanna let u in, but no
Damn these memories, and it's crazy
You ain't nothing like the girl I used to know

~ Ice Box, Omarion
(15slc facs finale item ftw!)

2009-12-07T00:41:00.003+08:00

once someone told me, whether in a joking way or not that *touch wood* who knows what would happen tomorrow and you'll never get to see your friends/family or do whatever you want.

so from now onwards, i am like taking every single goodbye kinda seriously.
even tho others might not take it like i do.

at least i would not regret (:

2009-12-06T23:11:00.002+08:00

Tulip Hearts day was a total success today! Managed to sell all of our colourful tulips within 6hrs. Probably we were lucky to be stationed at such a crowded area outside Jurong Point. Went uber early to CCF HQ at Tiong Bahru to collect the neatly wrapped out bouquets, had encouragements from joan and erlinda and set off (:

love the cute looking tulips and love the cool looking tshirt. lol being kinda shy and wadeva, me and penguin were a little shaky at the start but soon we got off to a super good start. boomz we sold 12 stalks to one lady who was despo to clear all her one dollar coins. so dam cool. from then on our confidence went super high. however after some awful rejections from pple we went back to square one.. but overall after gaining some much needed experience from the first few hours, it went on smoothly le.

lol it was my first time doing such street donation sales or any other kind of sales.. and i must say it is a tiring but definitely enriching experience. cos its like we are able to see all kinds of people. pple who give you different responses when we ask them for a donation. like those who dao which are the most common. those who skillfully avert their gaze. those who give u cool excuses like i need to withdraw money, i will come later (and heads to the mrt gantry), i bought one years ago (err okay..). those who nod at you or take out their wallet like they want to buy and just walk away. those who give you that cheeky little smile..

as quoted from naruto shippuden: "The best way to get out of a difficult situation is to give a smile. no matter if it is a fake or genuine one." Yeah how true..

...and of cos those who give you that little wink (; and walk away.

at least i am okay with those who refuse politely. rather than those who just dao. or stare at u with those pair of supra scary eyes..

there's a famous label for singaporeans: ugly singaporeans..

i'm glad i didn't get to see much of those but more of those who actually do care. esp looking at the other volunteers from all walks of life.. somehow all of them look so kind and amicable.. at least i am able to chat or exchange smiles with them, considering they are total strangers to me.

and there seems to be a trend. the boyfriends or husbands are willing to donate but their galfriends/wifes somehow gives that scowl and pulls their guy away.. haiz.. gentlemen, but no such thing as gentlewomen?

hmm one bottle of free coke is so much more attractive than cute tulips in 12 cool colours heh?

anyways.. didn't manage to meet mr tan in person this weekend due to lots of reasons.. but it was good enough to hear his voice on the phone. haha had conference call with him n twex. used up much of my free outgoing or maybe all. but it was definitely worth it.. haha talked and talked like we havent talked for ages. so fun :D wonder when i will be able to meet and chat with him again?

okay then.. with about 1 more hour left. time to give someone a call (:

----------------------

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin to pick a fight
I know that Ive got issues
But youre pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out Im nothing without you

~ My Life Would Suck Without You, Kelly Clarkson

2009-12-05T23:36:00.002+08:00

all of a sudden i miss taking photos alot. as in using a DSLR and going around to snap snap.

just like we used to in mediatech. going all around singapore, finding joy in snapping everything interesting around us.

i really wanna get a DSLR and capture the world with my lens.

and then show to others my world thru my lens.

i guess a picture really does speak a thousand words.

sigh. did not manage to meet someone i wanted to today. several reasons..

i wonder how my next few weeks will be like.

and it is indeed hard to say goodbye..

---------------

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now,
gonna let the light shine on me,
now I've found who I am,
there's no way to hold it in,
no more hiding who I want to be,
this is me.

~ This is Me, Demi Lovato

2009-12-05T01:20:00.001+08:00

best memory of the best outing.

totally rocked my day :D

2009-12-05T00:06:00.002+08:00

has been quite some time since i enjoyed the day so much. like i have been saying for dunno how many times le. today was one of the best outings ever!

the night before i even thought that the next day would bore me to death.. and finally like we always do, last minute decisions save the day (: what supposed to be a trip to sim lim square, or running across sch in my home clothes n slippers to chem lab ended with the best decision ever to go to settlers.

was the 1st time the 4 of us went out together. and i must say this grp of 4 makes the perfect combination. even though i cant relle explain why, i just had such a feeling.. tat kind of 6th sense that the outing will turn out very well. and it very well did. okay the usual 1st. waiting supra long with the supra heavy rain for the bus. banging each other non-stop throughout the whole bus trip (stupid driver). eat at EAT. found zisong all alone at long john. found job vacancies everywhere at Central mall. so temtping... but so far away from my house.

ok then what was unusual was a call from benji/alex all the way from US. honestly i had mixed feelings when i first knew it was them. shocked definitely cos it was a supra expensive long distance call. but other than that, it was jus feelings that i could nt exactly explain. even when i was talking to both of them, the convo din feel tat natural, at times stuck for words to continue the convo. prob cos i haven seen them for quite some time i guess. anw hope they are doing well there. okay dont feel like carrying on wif such stuff to disrupt my uncommon day of happiness.

nice christmas atmosphere at the place. so cool to be the first grp to arrive there but the silence there was rather weird. but we got straight to the games fast. lol loads of strategy games, crazy and fast games and not to forget those saboing games. today i was the unlucky victim so it wasn't suprising tat i lost the 1st game ><. 2nd game was the physics one, which required bashing up someone with some hammer thingy la. due to my incompetence in physics, about moments or wadeva, i made the thing crash and got beaten hard on the head by wei xiang. okay... got my revenge anyways. only ernest managed to survive without a single scratch la.. of cos there were screams and shrieks and some mooquackhisscuculukoowoof wadeva, but best part was that we totally enjoyed our time there together. lol not sure about the rest but i sure did. even if i had to spam myself wif apple juice after all that laughing and shouting.. definitely worth it. every single minute n second of it (: this are moments i have to treasure. n i hope the rest feel the same way too.

such an outing was probably one of the best ways to start the busy few weeks ahead. the weeks ahead being cramped with pple going overseas, so it seems like there's no more chance to meet until nxt month. hope i can still meet mr tan this weekend. didn't have the chance to say gdbye or thank him properly after i left bs. and i wont be seeing much of him nxt year without bs. great chance to meet him yeah. best bm to talk to ever. will be going to HK next next wk. it seems as tho the whole S'pore is going there for dunno what reason. gd time to let go of somethings and relax there. anw next week will be sian, but at least there would be a much awaited 6jade cls gathering (finally).

hmm just like in the game.
what do u tink, in my opinion, would be the thing that would make me happy?
going out with my close friends? talking cock with pple?
interestingly someone mentioned: "To be appreciated by someone"
though i didn't think of that as my answer but it is an interesting thing to note..
thats why i chose that as my final answer in the game.
but somehow i dont think i have got it yet. prob i have gotten it, but i chose to think it was not enuf?
but i have come to understand that i shudn't ask anything in return or try to change someone.
i shall wait and see.

-----------------

Cuz nobody wants to be the last one there
Cuz everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cuz nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

~ Gotta Be Somebody, Nickelback

2009-12-02T22:42:00.003+08:00

What bothers you??

bothered that others do not reciprocate ur friendship?

bothered about why others just dont seem to reply to your sms?

bothered that others reply ur msn convos with short & sian replies?

bothered that others just dont start a convo with u first on msn?

bothered that others care more about someone else compared to you?

bothered that others are ignoring you on purpose?

bothered that others are going out but did not ask you along?

bothered that others are still friends with people u hate?

bothered that others are seemingly cold towards you all the time?

sometimes people just cant be bothered..

but what else bothers u? lol i ran out of ideas.

----

lets see what i have been up to these few days..

stayover, going out, bowling, pooling, badminton, lab work, still no job..

anyway i'll be selling tulips for Children's Cancer Foundation at Boon Lay outing Jurong Point.

6th December. 10am to 4pm. Hope that you will visit and support us (:

-----------------------

From westlife's new album - Where we are:

Gave me the world to take it all away
All you left me was yesterday
And this space in my heart
Now it's slowly tearin me apart
I'm takin all that I learned from you
I'll make it something Ill never do
I can't be who you are
You taught me how to break a heart
You taught me how to break a heart

~ How to break a heart, Westlife

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yAgql7Svy0]

2009-12-02T22:11:00.002+08:00

Reminiscence #3

as i have said. its definitely f3 - always.

the new or the old,

the squishy turtle or the leaf-filled walls,

the air-con cozy corner or the stuffy common area,

the dota or the soccer in rooms,

the crazy mongol or the joker hanwei,

the well known noise generator..

All in one floor.

jumping on the turtle must have been so fun. making it explode and turn the place into a swimming pool must have been much more fun. pouring the water down to the first floor like a waterfall must have been epic. everyone pilling on top of yongzhi was crazy, chasing juniors around the floor was crazier, everyone squeezing together on one miserable sofa with ice cream in their hands watching Amazing race was the best.

hmm what about the most popular room everyone would gather in? where soccer balls would fly around. where certain things would definitely happen. ahem. where people enjoy the bonding sessions filled with moans and groans that could be heard from my room directly opposite. but back in the bigger 4 bedded room, it's where fights or rather judoing begin. where soccer balls get into close contact with spinning fans. where shaky and a going-to-drop-down fan accompanying us while we sleep. what about 3 group members gathering the one room doing what they are famous for. umm yeah.

it had been very interesting. memorable yea.

still. [f3-always]

2009-11-25T00:36:00.003+08:00

hmm havent been posting for quite a well. heh will do so soon i guess. when the inspiration comes (:

meanwhile...

You were a child
Crawling on your knees toward him
Making momma so proud
But your voice is too loud
We like to watch you laughing
Picking insects off of plants
No time to think of consequences

(Chorus)
Control yourself
Take only what you need from him
A family of trees wanting to be haunted
Control yourself
Take only what you need from him

The water is warm
But it's sending me shivers
A baby is born
Crying out for attention
Memories fade
Like looking through a fogged mirror
Decisions too
Decisions are made
Decisions are made and not bought
But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot
I guess not

~ Kids, MGMT

What about another great song? lol.

I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
In our eyes are mirror images and when
We kiss they're perfectly aligned
And I have to speculate that God himself
Did make us into corresponding shapes like
Puzzle pieces from the clay
True, it may seem like a stretch, but
Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
Head when you're away when I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road for
Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home

They won't see us waving from such great
Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay...

I tried my best to leave this all on your
Machine but the persistent beat it sounded
Thin upon listening
That frankly will not fly. you will hear
The shrillest highs and lowest lows with
The windows down when this is guiding you home

~ Such Great Heights, The Postal Service

Hmm.. these songs somehow makes me think of something.

hah, all the montages, photos and memories... BS :D

2009-11-18T21:20:00.003+08:00

unfortunately certain things still continue to bug me.

priorities in life are important so that we can achieve what we want. but what about priorities in friendship? like who are the ones who you would spend much more effort in, compared to the others who are just merely people who u are acquainted with. yes i do have such priorities, for example those who are my best of friends, who i can trust like fully. the next being friends whom i treat like my classmates, those who i can still chat, joke blah blah with. the last being the least populated level of people who i feel i dont relle like. but does it mean that having such a hierarchy mean that we treat number 1 better than number 2 and so on? i hope not cos it would be rather tiring and whatever.

then there are those who are the "double sided people". haha this phrase is not foreign to me aso since i had encounters with it some time ago.. but that problem still waits to be solved or probably just leaving it alone would be better. anyway it has been such a long time le. yeah anyways.. hmm these people. in front of one party he might criticize someone, while in front of that someone he will appear as tho he is best of friends with him or smt like that. ok such people are usually disliked in the social context and this also seems to spoil relationships.. lol probably i have been such a person before, but i srsly dont remember it. but for those who think they are, i hope they will think through this carefully, before certain people treat these double sided people as their best buddy when the actual fact is that it is totally not the case. sigh..

and finally i came to think of some vision that says: "building bridges, realising dreams"

someone once told me that a friendship can start due to some very hardworking bridge builders. ever witness how these builders manage to build a friendship between 2 people who have been total strangers in the first place? it is a noble role to play, but what if the builder sets up a friendship but somehow gets shoved out of the picture. where the fruits of their labour is totally not what they have been expecting. i guess being a part of this whole scenario is a rather sad thing.. esp if you are the middleman yeah.. but why not think in a way that the reason why the middleman is being thrown out of the picture is also his own fault? umm okay. my thought just stops here. suddenly i dont have anything to say or carry on. tired i guess.

*sniff sniff cough*

----------------------------------

我们都忘了这条路走了多久
心中是清楚的有一天有一天都会停的
让时间说真话虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后我们都不知道会不会有以后

~ 记得, 张惠妹

2009-11-17T22:20:00.003+08:00

not the best of times to fall i'll but yeah im like down with flu.. hope it does not get worse or i will not get to enjoy friday fully. lol mindpower, finally can try to use it, I WILL GET WELL :D

today was a rather enriching but tiring day out. was pushing my body to stay well despite nursing a flu.. it was rather okay until cigarette smoke purposely came to irritate my nose until it was supra uncomfortable.. lol sadly no sweet talk or old chang kee for me today even though it was really really appetizing with both stores conveniently placed at Far East D:

anyway recently i realised i have been rather fond of spending hours chatting with people during outings. a rather interesting way to kill time i guess, at least it beats stoning at home i front of TV or com. With a great buddy, great aroma from hot toffee nut latte in a cute grande cup and a great atmosphere at Starbucks, what more is there to ask for? never knew that this simple looking chat would make my head spinning with all kinds of thoughts, so I promised myself and him that all these will be removed from my brain and all typed out here. spring cleaning my mind of these stuff, a rather necessary thing to do at the end of the year. And someone told me this time of the year is a time to reflect, okay it sure is.. yeah so get ready of the more "emo" parts.. kindly click the "x" at the top right corner of your screen (or top left if u are a rich mac user) if the following content is disturbing for you. lols.

today i finally get a clear picture of the situation and it does seem that certain things can be affected by circumstance. u might find someone seemingly true to you but the person might just be affected by the situation he/she is in. okay more specifically like if he or she is stuck with you for a long while for whatever reason you can think of. I know im not really good at trying to explain things or giving advice to frens about certain stuff, but i told a fren that one has to learn to give up or say no. but this is when u have really thought through properly n decided. since it has aptly been a description of my situation, i thought it would apply for him too.. i have given up quite a number of things.. like friendships which seem to go nowhere. but one thing is that misunderstandings definitely need to be cleared up asap, if nt it might affect one's relationship. despite having some misunderstandings that i hope will be able to be cleared up soon, all i can do is hope for the best, and if nothing goes well, yeah jus give up. at least the other party is happy with his current situation.

today was also the day for some kind of confession. from what i saw, i always thought the problem was over-possessiveness, but now it does not seem to be the case. probably cos i knew that this was one of my greatest problems, which lead me to become oversensitive to alot alot of stuff. just that i do not show or complain it to anyone. if someone wanted to know what things i became over-sensitive to, i could definitely spend a few hours again trying to recall and reveal everything.. okay thats why i tried to prevent myself from allowing this problem to resurface again, which somehow results in failed friendships.. i end up telling others that there's no need for such feelings (even though this feeling will definitely be there) cos close friends will have to trust each other. lol then i have to ask myself, how much do i trust my close friends?

i know i have to. even if it meant that i would feel something if the person were to become closer to certain people. the person does not need to know it la, but just that i have to try to suppress such stupid feelings and move on. when i know about plans to retrieve the past friendships, lol that feeling is back again. what to do? yeah but at least i know how precious these friendships were to him. i know i still have certain dislike or hate for some people, and sometimes i also think if certain people dislike me, which goes to show his actions towards me. even worse when he is closer to people i want to befriend, and somehow my heart tries to start to hate him. omg my problem surfaces again. wth, this is confusing. but this is how confusing thoughts in my mind are. just merely writing everything out.

over-sensitivity is playing with my thoughts all the time. and being over-possessive is annoying. okay somehow i remember the word "annoying" very well, though for the wrong reasons. yeah all these problems are irritating.. affects my friendships also. but im contented to know that there are people that i can trust, want to trust and try my best to trust. and for those whom i wanted to trust but do not seem to reciprocate, yeah why not just give up. its not worth thinking that much u noe? waste of brain cells. argh.

---------------------------------------

Here we are, in the best years of our lives.
With no way of knowing,
When the wheel stop spinning cause we don't
Know where we're going
And here we are, on the best day of our lives.
And it's a go, lets make it last, so cheers you
All to that, 'cause this moment's never comin' back

~ Moment of Truth, FM Static

Reminiscence #2

2009-11-13T20:57:00.003+08:00

Reminiscence #2

6 weeks. 6 weeks of boredom every night. To them, it was a rather sad period of time. Cos it was brotherhood, brotherhood that was so evidently seen, like the wallpaper of the 3 brothers on the shiny iphone screen. It was also a rather not so happy period for me. Not really sad or anything, just that for once it made me worry about what to do at night for the coming weeks. Somehow i did not exactly feel the need to cry unlike the others, but nevertheless all I could manage was a little yellow & orange note for both of them. A little yellow and orange note, both folded neatly into little triangles, pinned nicely on the cork board in the room which used to be filled with activity every night. Placing it in such a prominent place on purpose, i really hoped they would pick it up just before they left, and up till now i wonder if they did.. hmm..

The week after the departure was unusually quiet among the permanent visitors. I guess there were tears at night but still somehow, it wasn't the case for me. All I did was think about anything i could think of. Hmm the brothers.. hah. Taboo.. Monopoly Deal.. Unusual Eruption..

Haha but thankfully for me, that room wasn't the only room i frequented. There was still another room, smaller in comparison, just opposite. Another friend that seems i am able to talk to perhaps? Or probably it was short-lived. Who knows?

Then there were the special friday nights, where dinners never fail to amaze me, in terms of variety and cost of course. These were also good chatting sessions, even though it varied in terms of venues, unlike the one in that very room on the second floor. Walking on the streets, then coming face to face with a traffic light. People usually do not wish for it to see it to be red, sadly neither do I. Why stop at the red light when life moves on when it disappears. Yellow. Green.

-----------------------------

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.
I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow."

~ Yellow, Coldplay

2009-11-13T00:10:00.002+08:00

Today I have added new pages to my internal map. lemme see.. Sengkang - Compass point. nothing much there actually, but i would definitely love the place cos of one single shop - Starbucks! :D Today i have finally completed my mission with 3 christmas frapps all under my belt, or rather in my tummy now ;P Would probably try the hot one after the aroma from twex's toffeenut latte totally got me mouthwatering..

haha it seems like outings with twex never gets tired nor boring.. somehow we could talk just about anyting under the sun.. talk on the train, talk at LJS, talk at starbucks, talk at popular.. yeah you get the point. And of course with my mind perked up with Peppermint Mocha frappe the chatting goes on and on and on.. That the way man! But seriously compasspoint is too far (for me at least) and not worth spending your time there unless u are able to spend hours talking at my fave starbucks while sipping up some much needed caffeine (:

just remembered that i do have to get my holidays schedule out soon. But i still seems that the activities aren't really all confirmed so its kinda hard to plan. But things like stayover, facs chalet are somehow fixed.. not forgetting lab sessions all the way to mid december. haha back to the SRC lab, a place which i missed going so much. the weird smell, mr ng, mdm lim.. hmm yep :D

i have not quite felt the feeling of jealousy for quite some time. but now something has just sparked off a feeling like that.. maybe not exactly jealousy but yeah its just that uncomfortable feeling. Lol what does it show anyway? Sometimes what i say to myself or to others are rather true.. Its not really worth that much brainpower or time thinking about it. i have been trying for years but it still remains status quo. so why not just give up and be contented with what i have right now? but thinking about what will happen next year still makes me worry about it. should i continue to suppress it everytime, just to REN and REN and appear that i am okay? i really dont exactly know.. i think i will need to confide in someone bah.

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Its no surprise I wont be here tomorrow
I cant believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time well find this was no surprise

~ No Surprise, Chris Daughtry

Reminiscence.. #1

2009-11-12T21:27:00.002+08:00

Reminiscence.. #1

Not too long ago were the fun times. The times when we did not really had to care much about work. Haha or rather we just daoed our work totally so that we could do what we enjoy. 3 of us, without fail, would make the special effort to visit this very special room at at second level. The first time I went in, I wasn't very convinced that it was really worth my time. Especially visiting the room which I only knew 2 out of the 4 boarders. But ever since the 3 of us became permanent visitors of the room, these 2 were nowhere to be seen in the room. Somehow they needed to have peace and quiet in order to complete their work. Then I laugh to myself: "As if I do not have work to complete.." But here I was, in this room, not knowing what to do as I was merely following my 2 other friends. Following blindly? Probably for now that was what I was thinking..

But soon enough I realized visiting this room has become a routine for me. Somehow I just do not find such an activity boring, even though we do just about the same thing every single day, without fail. Our mouths just kept moving, not stopping at all as the hours pass by quickly. It just seemed so intriguing, being able to share thoughts with each other, or laughing over a taboo game, and the "It's My Birthday" cards just keep pilling up.. Not a bad deal to receive 2 million from every person on your "birthday" heh?

Then there was that fateful night when with taboo cards and the squeaky thing placed all over the bed. Laughs just kept erupting randomly every now and then. And somehow my head involuntarily turned to the clock. Hmm past midnight, the night's still young I must have thought to myself. Not knowing there was a dormant volcano in the vicinity just waiting for the right time to explode and spew out its contents as violently as it could. As more laughter erupted, the volcano erupted too with surprisingly great force. It got everyone stunned but somehow I just could see that little awkwardness, something wasn't really right I must say..

Not wanting to get burned alive we hurried ourselves out of there and quietly went back to where we should rightfully be at such a late hour..

That night I just could not help not thinking about that little but quite unnoticeable smile despite all that unleashed fury. Confirmed, something was fishy.. lol.

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Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

~ Second Chance, Shinedown

2009-11-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

~ Your Call, Secondhand Serenade

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rgInHvW8Ic

Dreams

2009-11-09T08:34:00.003+08:00

one of very rare mornings i manage to wake up early.. but still tired after a bout of weird dreams..

first im swimming, then the pool was suddenly drained of water and they wanted to refill it but the pipe broke. then my handphone was buried in mud. then i appeared as some owner of some shop which looked like those Guardian stores.. then i was walking around and saw shops selling coffee and kaya toast. and i think i woke up.

lol weird but true.

2009-11-08T23:47:00.002+08:00

these few weeks have been busy not with studying for chinese but finding the clothes and stuff for commencement dinner. lol thanks to qingyang and weixiang for accompanying me on shopping trips and countless games of pool and bowling... now it seems like only dress shoes for the dinner are left.. haha so in the end the total cost of the dinner also includes money spent on the attire. but anyway it is worth it. last dinner as a whole sec 4 batch before we bid high school goodbye (:

after chinese O's on tues, it marks the start of a long holiday. feel like doing some part-time jobs to earn some extra cash to spend during the many many outings with friends. great time to catch up with primary school friends, with SLC facs (chalet!) & many others..

but before the joys of the holiday season kicks in, i still have to go through the challenge of yet another chinese paper, and more importantly the proper closure to my high school life.

when we came in as sec1s, class 1A was quite the perfect class, with muggers, jokers, quiet and noisy people. wasn't relle bonded with many cliques all around. but good thing that we played soccer.. at the corner outside our class.. and somehow managed to break the light. and then came ms tong in sec2 where the class seemed to become one, but still there's a distinct left and right side of the class. the right side was mostly the quiet people, lol not necessarily muggers.. but on the right side, it was a totally different thing. there was a gang, fully equipped with cigarettes. there was han wei who shouts and throws water bottle HE grenades at people walking past our class when their assembly ended. getting scolded by ms tong for always talking to ray beside me. Many epic incidents like the fight between chong yee and boyang. i drink finish my coffee then fight with u. lol EPIC. mr quek bu feng, first person who attempted to spoil the computer and succeeded. wow. Niaoing sessions during geography, quarrels with chongyee during lit. lessons.. Haiz fun times, like playing soccer every single recess, every single recess before assembly, at the memorable volley ball court (:

then moving into sec3 had to change everything.. at first CSE was kind enough to put all the 2A smtp people into one cluster of 3S1.. for the first few weeks. great times then but it was kinda short-lived when we split into our SMTP classes. the last 2 years wasn't as smooth as my 2 earlier years. more troubles, more less fun, more relationships gone sour.. but life still went on us usual, tho few days/weeks were wasted emoing about things.. now back to the main thing. smtp3 was a great class, but a class totally different from 1a06 and 2a07.. the bond wasn't there. although a few class clowns managed to "bond" the class and made lessons ever so enjoyable these 2 years. tons of attempts to vomit blood but fortunately no blood was seen. 2 very interesting and different english teachers. enjoyable times listening to countless but interesting life stories from our chinese teacher. listening intently when teachers made the conscious effort to be punctual for lessons. paying rare and almost full attention when biology lessons was about sexual repro. O_O

tats about the life these 4 years. but not forgetting the projects groups i went through thick and thin with. lets see... mixed & single sex schools grp, haze, matrix, duyao, BacP, TTB... spent 4 years of my life with these guys and i have never regretted it at all. probably the only regrets were not clearing up misunderstandings, not putting enough effort in projects and not spending enough time with certain friends and stuff..

but all in all. cheers to the 4 amazing years (:

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回想起第一天的时候四处都是陌生的脸孔
随着日子慢慢认识你们有你们作伴我不寒冷
就在这个熟悉的地方我们印下脚步不可忘
知道有天我们会再见面 Till the day we meet again
真心的感谢你，my friend

~ 真心的感谢你，my friend, Mr Galvin Sng

best (:

2009-11-07T23:35:00.003+08:00

nth nice to blog about today so yeah.. movie time :P

watched it and love it lol. depends on what kind of movies u like. if u want a good movie to cry like almost throughout the movie then this is it (:

lol although i like the book better, the way the book shows the same story from different perspectives. its like uber cool and each character is developed supra well in the book.

so verdict: buy the book. watch the movie. yeah best way to spend or waste ur time after higher chinese is over.

oh yea speaking about higher chinese, i totally have no mood to study. even if study le also got no confidence that i will do well. oh wells.

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Lifes a game but its not fair
I break the rules so I dont care
So I keep doing my own thing
Walking tall against the rain
Victorys within the mile
Almost there, dont give up now
Only thing thats on my mind
Is who gon run this town tonight

~ Run This Town, Jay Z (feat. Rihanna & Kanye West)

2009-11-06T22:45:00.002+08:00

this post shall be dedicated to the rounding up of 1 1/2 years of life in boarding school. now im a proud graduating student from boarding school, soon to be IBP alumni but sadly leaving boarding school is not as easy as just lugging all my things home..

joining the IBP has never been a regret for me. apart from all the politically correct reasons about leadership skills blah blah... it is where i had my best memories, had the best friendships and the best time of my life (: lol i guess without boarding sch i wouldn't be what i am today, be it bad or good, it has made a supra great impact on my life. i wished i could stay on and spend more time living with the big family of friends and boarding masters, but sadly circumstances prevented me from doing so. or rather i guess it is just time to go back home, to where i belong. it is indeed hard for me to adapt back to the life without friends right at your doorstep, just like how i am trying to return to life at home these few days after moving out of bs. quite an accomplishment i must say, 6 days! lol not bad.. but all these memories will not be possible without the EPIC bunch of people in boarding school.

here it goes (:

thanks twex for treating me as a friend i can trust and for all the wonderful memories

thanks niclui for being my roommate for these months, for tolerating my nonsense xD

thanks yongzhi for your food, your randomness, your laughter & your time.

thanks darren for willing to lame with me, for being the one and only lumberry

thanks f3 juniors for being ever so nice and fun-loving

thanks matthew for spending the last nite in bs with me (even tho u fell asleep during the movie)

thanks nigel, ernest and mr tan for fun but late nights in the bm room

thanks alex and benji for fri dinners last term

thanks everyone for celebrating my 16th birthday and for the experience in bs!

i think i am the only person in boarding school that has been loyal to f3 since the start in Aug 08. to see it change from the smy-hanwei era to the f3-mafia era. lol drastic change, but i still tell myself that im once a f3-er, always a f3-er. an undeniable fact. needless to say i will have the strong urge to visit bs as much as i can, help IBP in any way i can, cos it has been my second home, where my second family resides (:

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Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

~Graduation, Vitamin C

2009-11-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

snapsnap. end of the year is here again. fast heh. 4 year of high school gone. or rather survived 4 years in hci. whew.

leaving high school for us isn't a bad thing after all. since we do know that the whole batch will still stay the same in jc (at least for the most of us..), which is the thing that i am definitely most relived about. but one thing hard to accept is that the teachers and mentors we will be leaving behind. the great ones, the fun ones, the punctual ones, the vomiting blood ones, the niaoing ones etc etc. haha and not forgetting my best mentor ever, Mrs Goh. really really hope she can continue with bacP as long as bacP still exists.

lol i do think alot. or probably too much for my own good. thinking about the past. thinking about screwed up relationships. thinking about people i dislike. which brings me to think about what someone said, something about societal pressure. lol okay chim phrase. need time to digest.

as in do we hate someone because he/she is being despised by everyone, so its like going with the flow or is it because of your own experiences. tats something we should think about. cos if it is the former, its totally unfair i guess, or rather thats what i think la. should we pity them? i think people who do not deserve sympathy are those who are not true to themselves and always wears that fake mask around others, not to protect oneself but with "evil" intentions of achieving something. dont worry, u can disagree and think all this is just a crapload of shit.

at other times, i wonder if i am a selfish person. cos i do mind quite a bit if people try to get close to someone i am close to. sometimes i see them as being irritating, but why dont i see that i'm also being rather irritating by being so sticky. yeah why not. but i wonder, what are their intentions of always trying to get close? but who cares, thats not my problem. think so much for what?

人只有在放弃后才懂得珍惜. so true.

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i believe that songs represent what im feeling so here it goes..

You've had a lot of lessons to learn from
Some of them hit you so hard
And I keep believing someday you'll see, you dont have to be alone

~ Somebody Out There, David Archuleta